Today's blog is a very interesting one, in my never to be humble opinion. If you have gone on a date, you have probably kissed a girl, right? Coaching is sort of like that, going on a date. If you take that date to the next logical step and have a relationship with the person, then you have a relationship with the person. You probably know that having a relationship with a person is a little different from having a date. However, it all began with a date. Now when you are about to kiss a girl, do you ask her to kiss her? Do you look into her eyes or sit across the room and say, "Do you mind if I kiss you"? You probably don't. You see, she's in charge, and it's up to her whether she wants you to kiss her.
Contrast that with asking people to be your coaching client. Do you ask people to be your coaching client? Maybe you do, but I don't. What you do in the case of the girl, and going on a date, is you create the environment. You create the circumstances that make it necessary that the next logical step is for you to kiss her or for her to kiss you. It's boring to go on a date and ask a girl if you can kiss her. At least, it's boring for her. If you can't kiss her, and the answer's no, then you should have known that. If you can kiss her, and the answer is yes, then you should have known that as well. It's called confidence, but this blog is not about confidence. This blog is really about marketing.
What marketing does is create the environment that someone would necessarily say, "Victor, would you be my coach?" I wouldn't necessarily say, "Do you want me to be your coach? Then I shall be your coach." Because they would've seen enough data. They would've read enough blogs. They would've seen enough videos. They would've heard enough of me to know whether or not I resonate with them. It's not simply a matter of my asking them if I can coach them. It's a matter of me accepting them as a client. Few coaches understand that you can't ask a person to be their coach. Even in the case of coaches who speak at an event and at the end of the event, they call up the customers and ask them if they got anything out of their talk. That's pretty reasonable. However, asking the customer to be your client, asking the customer if you can coach them, then you might've missed the boat about coaching.
Coaching is a relationship that's two-way, for sure, but you are the one that's giving the help. You are the one that's giving the unbiased opinion, the objective unbiased opinion. You are the one that's holding the client accountable for what they say they want to do, and you are the one that's responsible for giving them the results. Now if you, in your marketing, in your speaking, in your personality, whoever you are, however you are, were to create that environment, then you need only do it in front of a person that resonates with you. Done properly, you can pretty much resonate with a lot of people, but one critical thing that coaches don't have the luxury of doing is getting their feelings hurt. They don't have the luxury of taking things personal. If you find yourself taking things personal, or being, shall we say, resistant, then maybe you might not be ready for coaching because as a coach, you don't have time for that.
I got this idea while I was on my machine this morning, my Gazelle machine that I use every day, and it occurred to me, that as many coaches as there are that's doing well, there's just as many coaches that are doing badly. I began to contemplate my blog, and see what I could say today that would help you. Your personality is your biggest asset, despite the fact that you want to be about business, your personality is a bigger, bigger component of your coaching business than your business acumen because see, as I talked about going on a date, everybody wants to go on a date. Everybody wants to have a kiss on the date, but everybody doesn't get one, and the reason why is because everyone doesn't create the environment. Do you pull out the chair for her? Do you open the door for her? Do you listen to her when she's speaking? Do you look her in the eyes, instead of other places?
These are all questions that one can consider when one does not get a kiss. A comparable set of circumstances or activities in the coaching arena is this, can they see you on video, knowing who you are? Do you have webinars available for them to watch, so that they can see what you know? Do you demonstrate in your social media presence that you love people? Do you have a backlog of clients that they can refer to? When they Google your name, do they find a website with yourname.com? These are all the things that create the environment that someone would ask you to be their coach.
Certainly, you can take the old-school approach and make sales calls. Consider this though, that the people that you are calling are probably making sales calls themselves. The wisdom that you have that you want to share with them on these sales calls, nearly everybody on Facebook thinks that they are a motivational speaker. They quote other people, and they say things themselves, so that's not a way to distinguish yourself. The way to distinguish yourself is to be you. Be you, and they will ask you to be their coach. Coaches are like mentors. Coaches are like trusted advisors. You can't go to somebody that you don't know and say to them, "Will you trust me?" Because it doesn't work. Trusting is something that occurs from the other side of their eyeballs. They choose to trust you. They choose not to trust you, and it's their call. All you can do is be the type of person that they would trust.
I heard a man preaching this morning, and he was saying how God commands him to love everybody, but he doesn't trust everybody. You have to earn his trust. I don't know that he is really on the right page about that because trusting is something that emanates from your love muscle. Your love muscle leads to trust. Distrust is your fear muscle because you see, if you're a God kind of guy, and you believe God's going to bless you, and you believe that if God is for you, who can be against you, then you're not worried about anything. You're just simply being you. No one has to earn your love. No one has to earn your respect. You love and respect simply because that is the way that you are. That's the way that God is. God doesn't have a set of circumstances that you have to meet before he decides to love you. He doesn't really care what you do, he's going to love you, and he's going to forgive you. If you want to emanate God then you need to do the same thing.
This blog is not about God at all, although life itself is about God, this blog is about how you can create the circumstances that lead to people asking you to be their coach. Even before I became a coach, one of my favorite, favorite things to hear out of someone's mouth was this, "So tell me Victor, what do you think?" Because when someone asks you to be their coach, chances are they trust you enough to do what you say. As always, I like to end my blog with have a good time until next time. I have incorporated this other request that's been on my last few blogs, and that is if this blog has helped you, I would love for you to share it with others. Please subscribe to the blog. Follow me on this blog.
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