Coaches' Corner~Hobbies

When you discover that there is a method to some kind of madness, it is a bit like getting money.  It can also be likened to getting a breath of fresh air.  If you are new to coaching or even if you have coached for a while, you pick up a book like How To Build A Million Dollar Practice and you learn that there is a way to make coaching profitable.  Learning new things can certainly help with our chosen vocation but learning in itself does not produce increase in our bottom line.  When we learn something, one of the natural outcomes is that we want to put it into practice.  Do you remember the erector sets from the early 60’s?  It was a toy that helped you build something like a bridge or an elaborate box after some difficulty with the screws and metal parts.  Figuring out how a certain technology works can also be fun.  Embarking on the coaching track has as its outcome a phenomenal income for those who are able to balance their skill of coaching with running a business.  But the fact is that many coaches end up coaching as a hobby rather than a profession.

When we want to be a coach and we have capital to invest, we may opt for one of the certification programs that are available.  They are heavy on academics and things for one to remember but the true nature of coaching involves some type of methodology which is absent in many of those programs.  The methodology of being a coach is predictable and is the foundation of being an extraordinary coach.  You absolutely cannot be an extraordinary coach unless you make great income being a coach.  Perhaps it does not happen right away but embracing the particular methodology is critical if you ever are going to succeed.  I was working with a potential client recently who told me of the headaches associated with coaching some close friends or family members and I sympathized with her because going to the trouble to think through an individual’s dilemma, thinking about it and maybe even doing some research, and giving them a solution to their problem seems futile when the person acts as if you said and did nothing.  Coaching methodology can eliminate some of that because there is a way to engage clients that all but guarantee they will heed your advice.  And advice is not the ticket anyway but it is more than likely that leading them to their solution would be a better situation.

Coaching as a hobby feels great when it works as most hobbies do.  But after a time even a hobby can be tiring once you decide you want to do it for money.  Many hobbies turn into careers for some but it is never like falling off of a log.  There comes a time when you take the leap and decide it is not a hobby anymore and when that time comes, you had better have a methodology in mind.   If you have a job, that is a 9 to 5, and you want to transition into coaching, then plan on it being a hobby for a time and use it to get a history with people you know but do it with a specific result in mind.  Make sure that you have resources to sustain you because hobbies do not pay you, you pay for them.  Be honest enough with yourself to admit when it is a hobby for you because only you know the truth.  The people benefiting from your coaching don’t care if it is only a hobby and the people who are not benefiting are probably not even noticing that they are being coached.  At this point it is helpful to remind you of several things about coaching that make it a worthwhile career and a worthwhile hobby.  Coaches bring three things to the table and there is not student-teacher relationship in coaching.  They are 1)  An outside objective opinion, 2)  An accountability partner and 3)  New results that have not been present before.  When you take on coaching as a career, keep in mind that a person paying you to do those three things will find you extremely valuable as you deliver those things to them in spades.  And by the time, coaching is no longer a hobby but a beneficial career, you will have seemingly through osmosis, become an extraordinary coach.

If this has helped you, please pass it on to someone else and until the next time, have a good time.

Coaches Corner~Blindspot

I have recently completed reading The Power of Story by Jim Loetz.  In his book, he opines that we all are telling stories to ourselves as well as others that allow us to continue living and believing as we do.  For instance, I tell myself that I am ambitious and that I am an extraordinary coach and my clients love me.  I tell myself that I help the world become a better place by sharing what I have learned about people to cause more of us to walk in love and find ways of connecting with others.  I tell myself that the reason we are here is to connect and the reason I am here is to facilitate that.  While everyone does not believe my story, those that do find themselves more empowered and connected with others.  Many of us say we don’t like to argue, fuss or fight and since I believe this, I do what I can to eliminate these instances.  You see, walking in love has many perks and choosing to love is something we all can do.  Before I go on, I remind you that it, too, is a story.

My friend Bill has gotten caught up in his story and it is causing a disconnectedness between him and myself.  The basis of our story-telling lie in our use of our mind.  Our minds determine how we feel about things and it will force our emotions out and justify everything we feel.  If we are not present to our story, we can confuse others and miss the chance to help our clients.  When our stories are not congruent, there can be a breakdown but fear not, nearly all breakthroughs begin as a breakdown.  Bill agrees with me in a recent news item when a neighbor went on to a man’s property and removed a flag that contained swastikas because he found them offensive.  The neighbor’s first amendment rights were violated because he has the freedom to fly his flag if he wants.  Many neighbors cheered this man on even though the principle of private property was broken.  Had he been shot, the perpetrator would have been exonerated.  If he is forced to pay a fine, he would deserved the punishment.  Bill and myself both agreed that you cannot stop a person from doing something just because it offends you.  Our story was indeed intact and on the same page.  Bill and myself, we are like that.  We both vote republican and believe in law and order.  Many of your clients feel the same way and if you are not present to that, you could be telling yourself a dis-empowering story.  If you do not vote republican, you might even think pulling down that awful swastika was a great idea.

Another news item got our attention.  47 republican senators published an open letter to Iran that undermined the president’s negotiations.  Our constitution gives a lot of leeway to the president in matters of international issues but limited in domestic issues so when it comes to foreign countries, the president can do what he wants.  Had this been a republican president, I am sure Bill would back him because he is more politically savvy than I am.  But without the political implications, hands down, he would support the leader.  He was adamant that the republicans should have done what they did even though nothing like that has been done ever.  Bill tells himself that he is smart and that he knows history better than average folks.  He has completely thrown caution to the wind in this case and has taken quite an illogical approach to this matter.  This is clearly a case “My country, right or wrong” as my mother used to say.  The same principle is at work in both of these cases and reasonable people would fall on the same side of both of them but the stories we tell ourselves are obscured by that little thing called a mind.  Two people look at the same thing and come up with different interpretations and end up arguing for days because neither is present to the fact that it is their story that is in operation.  Getting caught up in your own story most of the time does not empower us and ought to be stopped.  Be mindful of your client’s likely story and be ready to go through the breakdown onward to the breakthrough if you have to.  Your client does not know what he doesn’t know and has a blind spot that only you can see.  If Bill could see his blind spot, he would know he is being quite ridiculous in his assessment of the letter to Iran.  While there have been some famous mutinies, law-abiding citizens have no place for them.  Always keep in mind that your client needs you to have him or her do something they don’t want to do so they can be who they say they want to be.  And sometime that thing they are doing is facing the fallacy of their own story.

Coaches Corner~Paypal

As a coach, you must be careful to guard your expectations in every case.  This is true even if you are not coaching or talking to a client.  Coaching is one of the disciplines that you are always doing and thinking of things this way improves your life as well as anyone you come in contact with.  I have just had a very rewarding interaction with paypal technical support and I was very pleasantly surprised.  In the past, I clearly remember having difficulty with paypal and other businesses when I called their technical support.  I must admit I was a different person then and my results showed that.  I have figuratively been standing up screaming into the phone in an effort to get what I want and all to no avail.  It began before I even had the problem because my mindset dictated that I would have problems, unsolvable problems, difficult problems because that is what I was a clearing for.

I had transferred money into my paypal account for my own personal reasons.  Paypal had encouraged me to remove a certain product from my shopping card because it violated their guidelines for sales.  I understood what they wanted and was willing to comply and simply did not do it by their specified time.  I reasoned that if I did not sell any of the product, all would be well.  I did this despite the fact that they told me the specific steps to take to rectify the situation.  I would have simply stopped selling the product or arranged to get payment some other way but that is another story.  Paypal was having none of that as they froze my money and told me it would stay frozen until and unless I did what I was told.  Needless to say, I did what I was told by the end of the day.  After I read the email saying my funds were frozen, I immediately did what was asked but by then, I had gotten caught up in the bureaucracy and it was not as simple as flipping a switch to get access to my funds.  I then went to work in making things happen.

While I was going through the motions, it never crossed my mind that I would not get what I wanted.  In previous times, I would have felt the anxiety in my chest, I would have had sweaty palms, I would have told all my friends how I was being victimized.  I remember these things because as a coach of coaches, I am all about equipping you to help your clients who are having these same dilemmas every day.  I knew I would get my way.  When it didn’t happen after the first call, I made another all the while soft-pedaling it all the way to victory.  After a mere five phone calls, the situation was rectified.

Many do not realize how true it is that we get what we expect.  Even if it is not true, don’t you feel better when you are not stressed?  And stress is simply fear in disguise.  The opposite of faith is fear and we as leaders and purveyors of progress have not use for anything but faith as a means to our goals.  If we sell ourselves well enough, even when we don’t get what we want, it will seem as a stepping stone to something better.  It does not take any practice at all to allow our transient feeling to take over but with practice, we can and do seem to dictate our awesome result.  Some look at this as arrogance and none of us want to shoulder criticism of any kind but would you rather be successful or not?  Adhering to standards of behavior created by your critics only force them to think of something else to criticize you for.  Read only encouraging media, spend time with uplifting people and keep in mind that these folks are different for all of us.  Decide who we are, I say, then be who we are and surround ourselves with like-minded people.  We only need tie critics to prove to us that we mean what we say we mean.

All in all, I am excited about this outcome as I am about nearly all my outcomes and if it is not true for you, keep trying.  The closer you get to being there, the closer you get to being that extraordinary coach that you long to be.