As a coach, we must be careful about our preconceived notions. We must also be careful about our prejudices. Our prejudices can impact people in such a way that we would be simply flabbergasted.
Recently I attended an event that consisted of largely an African-American audience. For purposes of this blog, whenever I say black, I'm talking about African-American. I find it too self-absorbing to describe myself as an African-American because it requires too much effort to say African-American when I can simply say black. Describing myself as an African-American is as arrogant as describing myself as a homo sapien when I am really a man.
As I sat listening to this young lady tell her story, she was talking about how on social media she said she was going to an African-American event. She said that she was going to a Mr. Black Sacramento event. After she said that she was going to a Mr. Black Sacramento event she noted that her response on social media was something along the lines of "Is there a Mr. White Sacramento event?" to which she took a huge offense, an offense, by the way, that in my opinion should not have been taken. It's reasonable if you're going to have an event and describe it as something for blacks, that if someone else wanted to have an event for whites, that they could have the same option.
She didn't quite see it that way. What she was missing is her tendency to respond the way she did, that is defensively, that spoke of her inferiority complex. That spoke of her identifying herself as basically a victim. You see, in her world, of course African-Americans and blacks need to have their own thing because all the other things that's not described based on race is perceived by African-Americans as being solely about race. Unfortunately, too many African-Americans see themselves as black persons before they see themselves as anything else.
If you want to be an extraordinary coach, then you must rise above this melee. This melee has no place in civilized society. The tendency to victimize yourself because you are black or the tendency to find yourself restricted about something because you are black is really antiquated thinking. The ability to simply be an American and be a successful American has been enhanced by all the annals that we have accomplished over the last several years.
I can recall when to simply be in an argument with a person who wasn't black, the black person was automatically considered wrong. Now can you imagine what you as a coach have to manage if you are dealing with a person who is a black person who sees themselves as first a black person? How in the world can you succeed in the world at large if you see the world in black and white?
In the business community, in the business community we deal with dollars and cents and meeting the needs of the public. Now if you have a product that's specific for black folks, then by all means you can become consumed by the fact that you are a black person. If you have a product that is largely for anyone, then you are really shooting yourselves in the foot by speaking only to black people.
Apart from all that, there's the emotional health that we have to be concerned about. When you walk around thinking in terms of the fact that you are being victimized, when you walk around thinking that there's something that you have to do that other people don't have to do to be successful, then you're missing the boat. If you as a black person are a coach, you have got to be a coach first. No one cares if you are a black person. All they care about is that you help them get what they are looking to get out of their lives. If you can help them get what they're looking to get out of their lives, they really don't care what color you are.
The young lady that was overcome with the fact that someone asked her a simple question about a Mr. White Sacramento contest, I can only empathize with her because I'm a black person. If I were to get out of my black skin and look at it from a purely business point of view, it would be so easy for me to realize that once again, the way you see things determines how those things are. Too many of us see things a certain way and believe that the way we see that thing is the way that it is. We all have too many prejudices, too many foibles for us to look at things that way.
If we want to be an extraordinary coach, then we have to rise above the melee, as I said earlier, and realize that the blind spot that we have can cause us to see things from a way that's not empowering. If you don't have a coach, then get you a coach, because it is your coach that can share with you the things that I'm sharing with you now. Until next time, have a good time.
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