We all want to be better than we are now and there's really nothing wrong with that. But part of our quest to be better is to say better things to yourself. Being a Toastmaster helps you communicate better and when you communicating with others you're also communicating with yourself. Being able to tell ourselves the things that we want to hear in the way that we want to hear them. It is critical that we know how to actually do that.
The thought about Toastmasters came as a result of the thought that I'm having now which is the idea of making excuses. Toastmasters teach you how to speak in front of a room and speaking to other people and that is really important. The person that has the biggest impact on you when speaking is when you are speaking to yourself. You want to become very good at articulating yourself. My attitude is one of avoiding complaining. There's a certain thing that happens to you when you complain. When you say things the things that you say they create certain pictures in your mind and those pictures in your mind create certain emotions. These emotions determine whether you do anything or not and it also determines what you do whenever you do something.
I gotta tell you since I started doing different things I started getting different things. All this is leading up to the big lesson that I want to share in this particular blog and that is about the power of excuses. When you are sharing your story with someone as you would learn to do in Toastmasters the way that you share a story also says something about you. The only message that you want to send about you is that you are a winner, you are an over comer, and you don't make excuses for your behavior. You simply put yourself under the sort of scrutiny that other people might put you through except when you put yourself through it's a lot more harsh.
I was just listening to someone on the radio who was saying that people make excuses for President Obama. People make excuses for Donald Trump. He was lamenting this as a detriment in the life of the person making an excuse. I don't think he understands exactly what's going on. No matter what you say or how you say it you hear every word that you say. Once upon a time Zig Ziglar said that he believes it's ok to talk to yourself and some people question that, but he went on to say that the only thing that would trouble him when you were talking to yourself is if you ever said "huh?." If you said something and you didn't hear what you said well that was problematic.
Getting back to what I was saying, when you complain you release certain toxic chemicals into your blood that render you ineffective at whatever it is you're trying to do. When you complain you also tend to want to invest your energy to try to rectify what it is that you're complaining about. Neither of these things is productive. If you want to talk with me about any particular person place or thing and you are criticizing it or talking about how it doesn't work for you you would get in an argument with me. It wouldn't be a real argument though because what I would really be doing would be defending the person. I don't have to defend the person when I'm talking to them. I don't have to defend the person when I'm talking to you. But whenever I defend the person I put myself in a different mindset. I absolutely am committed to not complaining, especially after I found out that complaining about somebody else complaining is complaining. Rather than complain, I simply share ideas and if they work for you fine.
As an extraordinary coach you will find that many of my ideas to work for you as me being a complainer is the last thing that crosses your mind. Whenever you are faced with a situation where someone is being criticized or condemned I urge you to reject that. By rejecting that I mean make as many excuses as you want for the person's behavior but not to excuse the person but to put yourself in a place where you want to be. You may get criticized for being soft. You might get criticized for giving some people the benefit of the doubt or letting them off the hook. Don't even concern yourself with that. What they say to you is not important. What they say to you is simply their version of a complaint.
I've been promoting the idea of forgiveness for a long time and people think that when I say forgive that I'm letting the person off the hook. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm letting me off the hook. When I give people excuses for their behavior I'm doing it for me not them. When you get people excuses for their behavior you are doing it for you not them. Somehow this idea of giving excuses for people is letting them off the hook, you don't let anybody off the hook because they're not on the hook to begin with. They may be suffering from a negative opinion you have of them, but they're not on the hook for that. They don't even care about that because that is not on their mind. The crux of this blog is make excuses for other people's bad behavior, so that you can forgive them, so that you can walk in love. Eliminate the concern that others may have about you letting them off the hook or about you being soft because at the end of the day none of those people are paying your bills or doing anything else for you that matters. All you are concerned with is those destructive chemicals you release into your bloodstream when you complain.
If this blog has helped you or giving you a new thought please by all means share it with somebody. I end this blog like it and all of my blogs encouraging you to have a good time until the next time.
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