If you raise a child up in the way that they should go, when they are older they will not depart from it. As an extraordinary coach it is so, so important that you understand that certain things are telltale. Certain things produce certain results, and as an extraordinary coach you will learn to predict them based on what you see. The blog I'm writing today is about predicting the type of client that you have. You see basically, the world is divided into two kinds of people. Those who see themselves as victims, and those who see themselves as victors. That's not just because my name is Victor.
Often the people that are a member of these individual groups cannot even tell themselves that they are in this group. Often people spend many years in a victim position, and they only realize that they are a victim, or that they were a victim, once they come out of it. People who are in the victor position sometime never realize that they're a victor until someone brings it to their attention, and remind them of all the great things that's been happening in their lives. What we want to talk about is the indications of who you are dealing with by what comes out of their mouth.
Anyone having read this blog before knows the importance of love in our lives. We know that as humans we were made to love, and we know as humans that we live our best lives when we can love. Critical to that love part is the forgiveness part. I'm doing a whole lot of prefacing for this blog, because I'm trying to make a critical point here about the relationship that exists between how you feel about one thing, and how you feel about yourself.
I was getting out of the shower today and looking at myself, and lamenting the fact that I don't look exactly how I would prefer to look. Also, extolling the virtue of how much I loved the person that I was. Since I loved the person that I was, then I also loved the life that I'm living. The more I love the person that I am, and the more that love the life that I'm living, the better those things become, because I am looking for reasons to love. It doesn't matter to me what else is true, I want to love. I'm going to succeed in loving. My powerful subconscious mind will direct me to areas where I can find excuses to love, because that is my natural temperament. As a person who chooses to love unconditionally, you must say that I am a victor.
Victims don't choose to love, victims choose to be acted upon or are looking for someone to love them. For instance, were I a victim mentality I would be lamenting the size of body. I would be lamenting what I look like, and I would be whining about how I wish it were different. I would tell everyone I know that my stomach is too big, that my nose doesn't look the way I want it too look, that I weigh too much. I would spend lots of time complaining about those things, and surely my subconscious mind will help me by giving me more things, by finding me more things to complain of.
Now we get to the reason I'm doing this blog this morning, because I as an American love America. Wherever I was I would love that place. When I put myself in the position where I am somewhere that I'm not able to move from and I don't love it, then I am victimizing myself. How I feel about where I am is my doing, it's not your doing. No matter how you feel about your country, or no matter how you feel about your wife, or how you feel about your home, it is you that feels that way. It is you on whom an effect will occur. You're not doing anybody a favor by telling them how bad a particular thing is, and telling them why don't love it. The only person that you are doing any kind of damage to is yourself.
Each time you complain, each time you find a reason to be unhappy, your brain operates so that whatever the last thought that you had, the next thought's going to be the same. This is not know to most of us. You have to consciously decide, and purposely think about how much you love wherever you are. Human beings have this fallacious notion that identifying faults, identifying misery, that they're doing somebody some good, that they're helping somebody. You're not helping anyone by complaining about anything under which you find yourself. You can complain about yourself, you can complain about your wife. You can complain about your country, but I assure you those complaints will do nothing except poison the essence of who you are.
As an extraordinary coach I want you to, 1) commit to being excited about anything that has something to do with you, and this does not negate progress at all. Wherever you are you must be happy in that situation, and you must love that situation, or they'll never get better. 2) Then after you commit to being excited about where you are, make sure and direct your clients to do the same thing. Often, your client believes that they're doing the best that they can, when they are complaining to you about how bad things are.
As an extraordinary coach just simply ask them the question that I've grown fond of asking over the last few days. "Is that true?" You will find that whatever they are complaining about may not be really true, and just might be how they're thinking of it that's causing them grief.
As they say in my favorite book, the Bible, "let your conversation be yea, and amen." Now if you have gotten anything out of this blog I love the fact that you got something out of it, but I'll be happiest if you would pass it on to someone else. I end this blog like I end all of my blogs, encouraging you to have yourself a good time until the next time.
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