While optimism has its perks, we do not always get the
result we want. Not getting what we want
is daunting and requires us to find a way to keep living until it
surfaces. My pastor once wrote a book
entitled, “What To Do Between ‘I Believe and I receive’ and its content ought
to be noted. We are able to withstand
nearly anything for one second, right, so we need only approach misery or
disappointment one second at a time. After
one gets a certain age, it is clear that all things work out in some way and
even if it doesn’t, we all die sooner or later.
That may seem morbid but it really is good news. When you consider all the pain agonizing and
suffering we do needlessly, knowing it all eventually ends no matter what we do
is comforting. As a boy when I was
punished by getting a ‘beatin’ it seemed the pain would never go away but it
did go away eventually. Dealing with
panic attacks for more than 8 years and now living without them convinces me
that all things end in time and makes it very clear that the time spent
agonizing is only useful because it got me from there to here. And being here is a lot of fun.
Enjoying the journey is more than just a cute saying. And as an extraordinary coach, you had better
enjoy the journey so that you client will enjoy it too. If all things work together for good, then we
must get very good at reframing everything.
In coaching the operative question is always, “What’s next?” And it can
work in all areas of life. I spend some
time in social media and have developed some relationships with people that do
not always think the way I do. I have
developed my thinking over the years and understand this process and have a
much better handle on life than I used to.
I see comments from people I admire and wonder what they could be
thinking. I even have the nerve to
become annoyed at times and wish they would be more like me. The journey they are presently on looks a lot
like my own journey did some years ago and it is almost predictable that they
will come around. By come around, I mean
they will come to the same conclusion I did.
That conclusion borders on the fact that we can think about whatever we
want to think about and we alone bear that responsibility. Just because I am there does not mean others
do not have the right to make their own journey. I am getting much better at the old adage, “Live
and let live.” All I really must do is
to wait and greet them with gladness when they finally get there.
I suppose there is a certain amount of arrogance associated
with such an attitude. When I consider
that the person who is offended is the one responsible for the assessment of
arrogance, I feel much better about things.
So what if I am perceived as arrogant?
It is a very valuable asset in this case for it saves a lot of
heartbreak anxiety about what is going to happen. Once you realize that all you feel results
from what you think, you choose to think different thoughts. The sky is not falling….it is not going to be
horrible…..and you will find another job and a sweetheart nicer than the one
you just lost. More than anything the
idea of prayer makes us okay with whatever we are dealt. Even in the case of our children, we must be
willing to weather the storm until they get to the other side. Berating, and chastising and brow-beating
might make you feel like you are doing something but there is more than talk to
the saying “Love covers a multitude of sins.”
When the offense comes we must be ready.
When we are called to watch someone get bruised, we must we willing to
watch them heal. It is this mindset that
is most helpful to the coach who is not getting the results she or he wants
right now. Get in the habit of staying
until the end of the game because you never know what story to tell if you were
not there for the win.
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