Much of what we do comes from forces of which we have no
control but that does not mean we cannot use sheer will to overcome some of
those obstacles. If your parents were
alcoholics, then decide that alcohol is something you can live without. Its benefits, if there are any, are not worth
the chance. You do not have to work in
computers because your ancestors did and certain patterns of thoughts do not
have to take you over just because it runs in your bloodline. In fact, knowing what your family’s
tendencies are gives you job 1 in many cases.
I happen to know that my family had not the sort of chutzpah that led us
to make sales when funds were needed. We
tended to borrow and get deeper in debt rather than embrace the idea of giving
more. That history has helped shape the
man that I am today.
All of my influences have not been as obvious and neither
have yours as today’s story demonstrates.
Being a coach means getting in touch with all of you and sharing that in
your marketing so that you can easily resonate with your target market. Remember that the coaches’ creed is, “There
is not good or bad, right or wrong, there is only, ‘What’s working?’ ‘What’s
not working?’ and other more important paradigms to consider. I recently sent some money to my sister via
paypal and she was not able to get the money.
After some 4 weeks, she had done all she knew how to do so she called
me. I am not sure what the problem was
but she did all that she was asked to do and was not able to get the
money. So today she called at her wit’s
end with a request for me to simply get the money back from paypal and send it
a different way. I suggested she call
paypal and speak to a supervisor and plead her case.
While she was doing that, I was at my computer some 3,000
miles away transferring a musical file which I had done numerous times in the
past. I had given it more than 5 tries
and was content to say, “Forget it!” Right about that time, I received a text from
my sister saying she was “Done” with paypal after waiting on hold for more than
one hour and I should get my money back.
For some reason, at that moment, I realized that she had quit and was
mentally challenging her about being so quick to give up. I admit I was not present to how much she had
actually tried but it still landed for me as quitting. Seconds after that I thought about my dilemma
with the file and thought, “I cannot quit!”
“That is what my family is known for, we just quit when it becomes
difficult.” I resolved to get it done and in no time at all, I had accomplished the task. My coach friend, Jim Padilla of Gain the Edge, and I were walking and discussing this and he
introduced me to a coaches’ tool. He
rather helped me remember something and put a beneficial take on that whole
experience which I am prone to do anyway.
If you are a coach listening to this story or unearthing it
in a session, how can you best help your client? You ask the question, “What else in your life
are you missing because of your tendency to quit?” And then wait for the answer. Most likely you will hear a couple of excuses
why this particular incident is different from parts of their life where they do excel and
do not quit. Do not fall for this ruse
because if they quit in this part of their life, they quit in every part when
the going gets tough. I am sure Jim was
not the first to say it but, “The way you do anything is the way you do
everything.” Once you get them present
to that truth, the excuses stop. You can
then get them about the business of finding out “What’s missing?” and “What’s
next?” in their business. Always be on
the lookout for teaching moments and remember that you are not immune to
generational behaviors or ways of thinking and when you detect them, use them
for your growth and your coaching skill.
Your clients do not have your experience and using your
experience to assist your clients is a major distinction of being an
extraordinary business coach. All experiences
have value especially the ones we are left to only manage rather than eliminate
completely.
No comments:
Post a Comment