Coaches' Corner~Amiables

Today we will talk about the people identified as amiables.  They are the folks for whom a relationship is the most important thing.  They want to have an income just like the rest of us but not at the expense of ruining a relationship.  They are the ultimate people-pleasers and as nice as they are, people-pleasing might not be a reason for criticizing.  We all want to be liked but the amiables take it to another level.  We are mixed with all four of the personality types but we all have more of some traits than others and those dominant traits are what give us our identity.  When a coach who is amiable and a client who is amiable come together, the answer to “What’s working?” might be a resounding ‘nothing.’  And what is not working is usually an amiable.  Their tendency to make decisions is lacking so more rather than less pressure is needed to add what’s missing in their business.  Amiables are the epitome of nice people and actually sacrifices success for that moniker.

There is a phenomenon called the yo-yo that is seen in network marketing which gives you an idea as to what an amiable has to deal with.  When I sold water filters, we would see people who absolutely loved our presentation, loved our product and loved the presenter.  You could see the starts in their eyes.  Their energy was flowing and they all but threw their wallet at you to get signed up in your business.  I cannot count the number of times I had this experience.  When I pegged the person as amiable, I would not be surprised at what happened over the next few days.  It didn’t only happen to amiables but amiables were the most predictable.  Before going home, the prospect would all but swear they would be back tomorrow and sign up at the highest possible level.  So you would call them up the next morning as follow up which you would do with anyone.  Suddenly they would seem cool and tell you things like, “I don’t know about this thing” or “While I was sleeping last night I had a dream.”  You could hear the anguish in their voices and you felt bad for them because you know what has happened.  Someone they care about who was not even at the presentation told them it was a dumb idea.  To add insult to injury, the amiable might have even thought it was a stupid idea but they did not want to hurt your feelings.  Now they are stuck because they do not want to hurt the person who told them it was stupid and they don’t want to hurt you.  Amiables sometimes don’t know what they want themselves.  So as a coach, an amiable is a tall order.

We define a coach as a person who makes you do what you do not want to do so you can become who you want to be.  For amiables, these two extremes are not even known to the person so how can you help them?  Unless you are a “recovering amiable” yourself, you might think you are just dealing with a procrastinator.  But nothing could be farther from the truth.  If you are a business coach with not training in life coaching or mentoring, then this might not be the client for you.  You are only valuable to those knowing what they want and what business they are committed to making work.  In this particular case, a live coach might be in order.  You cannot put too much pressure on an amiable or they will break and/or withdraw and that helps no one.  You cannot avoid pressure altogether because for sure nothing will happen.  This client may take quite a while to get on track and you must be prepared for that.  Properly marketing yourself will keep this client from calling you anyway but if you find yourself with an amiable your work is cut out for you.  Of all the personality types, this is the most difficult for me to coach.  If you are a coach and you are amiable, tread gently if you ever find yourself as my client.  Keep in mind though, that whether you are expressive, driver, analytical or amiable, it is my goal always to provide you the service of an extraordinary coach.