Despite the best efforts, some coaches cannot seem to take their clients where they want to go. The universal creed of coaches is to have their clients "do something they don't want to do so that they can become someone they want to be." A degree of clairvoyance is sometimes helpful in doing this just as a knowledge of deep cravings that everyone has. By knowing our own craving, we are able to identify the cravings of others. The client may not even be in touch with their own cravings as the reason they have not achieved what they say they desire. Apart from the craving to be liked, the craving to succeed and the craving to know one's purpose, I was recently made present to another craving and even found out it's source. I am talking about the craving to accomplish our dream that is given to every human being by the DreamGiver. Like a computer program playing in the background, the client's dream is always present though sometimes dormant.
I recently read a book you may have read called, "The Dream Giver." The main character is a guy called Ordinary who live in a town called Familiar. The other characters in the book were referred to by their characteristics rather than their names. There was Nobody, Border Bullies, Giants in the Land and Anybody. The story centers around Ordinary who awoke one morning to a yearning deep in his heart known as his "Big Dream" that would not go away. His name was no accident as the author wanted to make the point that most of us live ordinary lives and did not have to. The obstacles that exist as we deal with our own dreams are many but they are surmountable. It is a story of victory and had just the right amount of obstacles and encouragement to make the protagonist a winner. Even if you have not accomplished your own dream, you can help your client accomplish theirs by asking a few simple questions. What is your first memory of life? What are you good at that is easy for you to do? How do you view God? These questions ought to be asked early in the coaching relationship. Assuming that your client has already seen videos of you and has decided that they resonate with you, you need only to assess your ability to help them. Once you have done that, you are free to engage them and speak to their inner craving and relate it to their business goals or other goals in other areas.
Asking directly about a client's goal can sometime yield nothing at all. Some of the time the client is embarrassed about their goal and even worse, they are embarrassed because they don't know. So don't expect an immediate answer. When you don't get an answer is the time to remember some of the distinctions of coaching. A client will not tell you something they are embarrassed about without skillful intervention by you. I can remember flunking out of Morehouse College my first year and attended another college afterward. It was years before I could utter the words, "flunk out" in connection with what happened to me. Since I had a conditional scholarship, the most non-toxic response I gave for why I wasn't going to Morehouse was that I could not keep a B average which I needed in order to keep my scholarship money coming. Your client may have some shame associated with this dream thing so be sure to institute your assessment without the right-wrong, good-bad paradigm. If you are not familiar with the word, there is probably more you need to know about coaching and that is an example of an assessment outside of the good-bad, right-wrong paradigm.
Speaking to the "Big Dream" craving in your client can only improve the results they are getting. The book, THE DREAM GIVER, was a good read and has changed the way I coach. It may do the same for you. Perhaps your versio of this book has a character named, "Extraordinary" as a result of your client having an "Extraordinary" coach.
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