Coaches Corner~Habits

It just occurred to me the truth in the old saying that old habits die hard. I just got into a car, not my usual car, I'm driving a friend’s car and I sat down in the seat before I pulled my legs into the car. That, my friend, is an old habit. Why is it significant that, that old habit is being talked about in this blog? Coaches, like all other human beings also have old habits. Certain habits, you still have them, and you don't need them and they're not serving you. You can make a conscious decision that those habits are not serving you, however, you haven't really told your subconscious mind with enough magnitude that those habits don't serve you. If you had told your subconscious mind, then you wouldn't be doing it anymore.                       

Just recently, I lost a significant amount of weight, about 70 pounds. Last year this time I weighed over 300 pounds. Weighing that 300 pounds happened to me gradually so I began to incorporate different things into my life so that I could keep living. Weighing 300 pounds, though, you don't want to do it, you simply can't stop living, just because you weigh 300 pounds. You have to do things a little bit differently. When you're on your knees praying, well, you have to grab onto the coffee table to help yourself stand up. When you drop your car keys, you have to actually sit on the floor to pick up your car keys. When you're playing with your children or your grandchildren, if you have any, you can only do it for just a few minutes. All of these things are habits that you develop when you weigh 300 pounds.

                        

Even though I don't weigh 300 pounds anymore, I still deal with some of those habits. Just recently I found myself grabbing on to a table to stand up from a kneeling position. I reminded myself, oh wow, I don't need to do that anymore. I'm driving a friend’s car right now rather than my usual car and so you might think that the new habit that I developed, you might think that I would incorporate them here. Human being are just so habitual, the fact that I'm not driving my car put me in a different place. It was easy for me to forget that I no longer have to sit down on the side and then bring my legs in. I can simply get into a car, just like anyone else. Put my right leg in, swoop myself in without having any hard work, without incurring any difficulties. You had better believe when I was 300 pounds it was difficult to get into a car.

                        

What am I selling all this for, is the question that you might ask. In your business, there are certain things that you did before you became successful and to stop doing those things made you successful and you realized the secret is not doing those things anymore. Like anything else, success eventually finds us complacent. When we get complacent we might not notice things, we may not notice what happens when we get complacent. The responsibility for that lies on the reticular activating system. Our reticular activating system is what helps us ... if we're driving a car and there's noise in the background, our reticular activating system elevates our level of awareness so that, that noise doesn't bother us. If we're driving a car and there's a hum in our car, our reticular activating system elevates our awareness so that doesn't bother us. If you were to hear those sort of noises while you're sitting in a hospital, they would be bothersome. If you would hear those kind of noises while you were at your home, they would be bothersome as well. The reticular activating system, it elevates our awareness.

                        

Similarly when we shed a habit, our reticular activating system takes over then as well. We don't do those things anymore. When there's a change, like when I have a different car, then the reticular activating system might get a little off kilter, might get a little out of sorts, and forget about this thing that we consider to be normal. That's why when I got into my friend's car today, I sat on the seat and pulled my legs in and after I already did it I realized, oh wow, I don't do that anymore.

                        

As a coach you find yourself revisiting those old habits that don't serve you. You might find your clients revisiting things or old habits that don't serve them. As a coach, as an extraordinary coach, it's going to be up to you to bring it to the attention of your client that they are doing something that no longer serves them. You have to remind them that they're doing something that they told you that they wouldn't do and you must make this reminding without fear of reprisals. When someone sheds a habit that's no longer beneficial, they don't want to do that habit anymore. You as a coach might be a little apprehensive about correcting people, but you must shed that. If you want to have extraordinary results with your clients, you must remind your clients when they're doing a habit that no longer serves them.

                        

Your client will love you for it. Your client will be excited about it. Even though they may seem like they didn't want to do it, it may seem like they we're giving you some resistance, your client still will appreciate the benefit of your third party observation. Holding a client accountable to eliminate those habits that they said they do not want to have in their life is your job as a coach. Noticing your habits that will not serve you client, is also your job as a coach.

                        

What I'm suggesting that you do is give your reticular activating system a workout and purposefully remind yourself that no, that's not my habit anymore when you find yourself doing something that no longer serves you. You must be diligent in the monitoring of your reticular activating system because your reticular activating system is there to help you, not harm you. Believe it or not the habits that you develop in your life are also there to help you not harm you. If you will stay present to those habits that are no longer working and eliminate those habits when you find yourself still doing them, you will find yourself getting that much closer to being that extraordinary coach, which I know that you love. Once again if you don't have a coach, get a coach. If your coach is not reminding you of self-destructive habits, get a coach anyway. Until next time, have yourself a good time.

Coaches Corner~Defensiveness

                         

                    

As a coach, we must be careful about our preconceived notions. We must also be careful about our prejudices. Our prejudices can impact people in such a way that we would be simply flabbergasted.

Recently I attended an event that consisted of largely an African-American audience. For purposes of this blog, whenever I say black, I'm talking about African-American. I find it too self-absorbing to describe myself as an African-American because it requires too much effort to say African-American when I can simply say black. Describing myself as an African-American is as arrogant as describing myself as a homo sapien when I am really a man.

As I sat listening to this young lady tell her story, she was talking about how on social media she said she was going to an African-American event. She said that she was going to a Mr. Black Sacramento event. After she said that she was going to a Mr. Black Sacramento event she noted that her response on social media was something along the lines of "Is there a Mr. White Sacramento event?" to which she took a huge offense, an offense, by the way, that in my opinion should not have been taken. It's reasonable if you're going to have an event and describe it as something for blacks, that if someone else wanted to have an event for whites, that they could have the same option.

She didn't quite see it that way. What she was missing is her tendency to respond the way she did, that is defensively, that spoke of her inferiority complex. That spoke of her identifying herself as basically a victim. You see, in her world, of course African-Americans and blacks need to have their own thing because all the other things that's not described based on race is perceived by African-Americans as being solely about race. Unfortunately, too many African-Americans see themselves as black persons before they see themselves as anything else.

If you want to be an extraordinary coach, then you must rise above this melee. This melee has no place in civilized society. The tendency to victimize yourself because you are black or the tendency to find yourself restricted about something because you are black is really antiquated thinking. The ability to simply be an American and be a successful American has been enhanced by all the annals that we have accomplished over the last several years.

I can recall when to simply be in an argument with a person who wasn't black, the black person was automatically considered wrong. Now can you imagine what you as a coach have to manage if you are dealing with a person who is a black person who sees themselves as first a black person? How in the world can you succeed in the world at large if you see the world in black and white?

In the business community, in the business community we deal with dollars and cents and meeting the needs of the public. Now if you have a product that's specific for black folks, then by all means you can become consumed by the fact that you are a black person. If you have a product that is largely for anyone, then you are really shooting yourselves in the foot by speaking only to black people.

Apart from all that, there's the emotional health that we have to be concerned about. When you walk around thinking in terms of the fact that you are being victimized, when you walk around thinking that there's something that you have to do that other people don't have to do to be successful, then you're missing the boat. If you as a black person are a coach, you have got to be a coach first. No one cares if you are a black person. All they care about is that you help them get what they are looking to get out of their lives. If you can help them get what they're looking to get out of their lives, they really don't care what color you are.

The young lady that was overcome with the fact that someone asked her a simple question about a Mr. White Sacramento contest, I can only empathize with her because I'm a black person. If I were to get out of my black skin and look at it from a purely business point of view, it would be so easy for me to realize that once again, the way you see things determines how those things are. Too many of us see things a certain way and believe that the way we see that thing is the way that it is. We all have too many prejudices, too many foibles for us to look at things that way.

If we want to be an extraordinary coach, then we have to rise above the melee, as I said earlier, and realize that the blind spot that we have can cause us to see things from a way that's not empowering. If you don't have a coach, then get you a coach, because it is your coach that can share with you the things that I'm sharing with you now. Until next time, have a good time.

Coaches Corner~Qualifications

Those of us in the coaching arena and speakers as well, love quoting our mentors and many of those quotes ring true.  You know some of the people who are quoted often and we just take their quote as law and that may not be the most empowering thing for us to do.  We must remember that they were not always quoted and only after they said a lot of things and gave a lot of speeches were they quoted.  People whom they have helped also quote them.  Let’s try out a few of those quotes.  I will do the quoting and you can see if you recognize them.  “You help enough people get what they want and you will get what you want.”  “Winning is not the best thing, it is the only thing.”  You probably recognize those as quotes by Zig Ziglar and Vince Lombardi respectively.  The quote I want to talk about today is one I wish to challenge vehemently as a coach and once I tell you, you might challenge it also. 

It was my mentor, Zig, who said to “Find someone that has what you want, do what they do and you will get what you want.”  A man I respect very much, Les Brown promotes the fact that we should only listen to people who have done what we want to do.  There is so, so, much more to the story than those simple truisms.  We must choose to believe those things that serve us and were you to listen to the rhetoric, yes, I said rhetoric, you might not be a coach today.  You certainly would never get your first client because when you start, you have not client.

Michael Jordan undoubtedly is the greatest basketball player ever and of course he has coaches.  I have not of him becoming a coach just yet but there are other great players that are active that could eclipse his success.  Michael’s coach was Phil Jackson and the record shows that Phil never won an NBA championship let alone six of them.  Had Michael looked for a coach that had did what he did, he would still be looking and not even come close to the name he has made for himself.  Clearly Michael had enormous talent and might have succeeded in spite of his coach but I don’t think so.  Phil Jackson brought things to the table that you, too, could bring for your clients.  Phil did things for Michael that Michael could never bring for himself.  True, Phil is a strong personality and Michael could be hard-headed but suffice it to say that three things brought to Michael that impacted him could impact your clients in a big way.  I am talking about things that your clients could never do for themselves.  Your clients could never in a million years bring themselves an outside, objective opinion.  They are absolutely incapable of holding themselves accountable for what they say they will do.  The only results they can bring is those they already have and you can bring new ones.  Lest you think it is an anomaly that a great ballplayer like Michael could only be coached by another great player, let’s examine the following.

Approaching the topic from another perspective, let’s look at the greatest coach ever in my opinion.  Vince Lombardi was a reserve player.  He didn’t even play in the NFL but he coached the Green Bay Packers to the NFL championship three out of four years.  And before there was even an NFL championship, he helmed the New York Football Giants to phenomenal seasons.  He decided to bring the three elements of coaching to those teams and excelled.  Coaches have a different measuring stick from the general population and just as performers are committed to performing well, coaches are committed to coaching well.  If you are like me, you want to be and aspire to be an extraordinary coach.

What to do, though, as you seek clients?  Know that what is necessary is that your clients resonate with you and there are a number of ways to do that.  Once they resonate with you, simply elaborate on the things that all coaches do as stated above.  Specifically talk about the area of our lives where all breakthroughs occur and we can talk about that also.  Allow yourself to be exposed to clients and have them become interested in you so that they come looking for you and when they do, recommend this blog.  This blog is designed to be read by coaches but others read it as well.  When you are new to coaching, you have no track record to reference but you don’t necessarily need one.  Tell stories about coaches you know and edify your own coach.  As clients hear that you have a coach and pay for your own coaching, it will make sense to them that they do the same.  If you have no coach, get one, because your not having a coach is a sure sign that you do not believe in the process.  You do not have to own a multi-million dollar company to coach someone else to own one.  You do not have to have a company of one hundred employees to coach a person who has a company like that.  You are called to be a coach and if you don’t believe that quit.  No one is quite like you and you can make a living doing this and that living starts with being authentic.  Tell your clients when they ask how long you have been doing this, “What made you ask that question?” and wait for them to think of an answer.

Finally to assert your individuality and get you on track to believing you are an extraordinary coach, remember Malcolm X?  He was not the first prisoner to hear the message of Islam while in jail but he was the only one who became Malcolm X, right?  Take this blog to heart my friend and keep reading them.  Remember to take the popular quotes with a grain of salt and let's start being quoted ourselves rather than quoting others.

Coaches Corner~Focus

When you are committed to being an extraordinary coach, your commitment does not stop there.  You must be committed to the results your clients say they want and also be committed to inspiring them to set even greater goals.  You must allow nothing to get in the way of those expectations no matter what it looks like.  The only way for breakthrough is an apparent breakdown from time to time.  Despite this, you must “Close your mind to anything that tends to dim your vision, shake your purpose or quench your faith” according to Walter D. Wattles, the author of The Science of Getting Rich.

This is no more evident than in a movie I watched entitled Apocalypto.  While the movie was graphic and very violent by anyone’s definition, I chose to focus on its deeper meaning and you should develop the skill of focusing on the things that serve you and not allow anything to deter you from where you are taking your client.  This movie tells a story of the Mayan culture and shows a lot of man’s inhumanity to man and also shows that men were more serious during those times.  While I am not all that serious, as you know if you have read these blogs, I took a serious lesson from the movie.  We know that divorce is at a rampant rate in the world and as a result or maybe even despite that, the character of men have been suspect.  If a man is not able to keep his commitment to his family, then what is left for him to do?  Pursue his fleshly passions?  Perhaps but here is the story of “Almost,” a name he was given in the movie by his captors.

His village was attacked by some people not from there.  Almost sought immediately to find shelter for his pregnant wife and toddler son.  He found a hole in which to hide them and tied a rope to each of them, lowered them into the hole and affirmed, “I will come back” as he went to join the other men in the fight to defend the village.  (I am getting misty-eyed just writing this)  he was unsuccessful and many of them were killed but Almost was not one of them.  He was captured and the point of this piece shows that he could not have been killed because he said to his family that he would be back.  As the movie progressed, he made several attempts to escape and all of them were fruitless and while it was not shown, I am sure that Almost was wondering in his head, “How am I going to keep my promise?”  They made sure he would not escape again and all seemed lost as he was bound with other captives and prepared to be sacrificed to the God’s of the era.  He never seemed afraid though.  It was almost as if he knew on some deep level he would find a way to find a way.  The set-up was to have the captives climb the gangplank and one by one they would be beheaded and that would be the end of them.  From time to time one would fight when it was his turn and he would simply get conked on the head and laid on the chopping block and get beheaded that way.  Now it became Almost’s turn and what happened next was amazing if one were not aware of the metaphysical nature of life.  He had to get back to his wife because he said so!  If that meant that he would return carrying his own head, then he had to do that.  His faith even at the point where he was “Next” kept his spirits up.  This is the same kind of faith they talk about in the bible when Abraham raised the knife to kill his own son because God told him to and just about that time, a ram was caught in the bush and the ram was sacrificed instead.

When it was Almost’s turn to get beheaded, something happened that no one had seen before.  Suddenly it became dark, pitch black and no one could see anything for a few minutes and Almost was spared.  It was the first recorded solar eclipse and it had to occur at that moment in history because it was the only way that Almost even had a chance to return to his wife and family.  To be sure, it still was not easy after that but had the eclipse not occurred, Almost would have been a dead duck.

Taking control of your mind is very, very critical to becoming an extraordinary coach.  Watching the movie would not give as much revelation to someone else but I am always looking for ways to improve if not for my clients, for myself.  The lesson of the movie is indeed a good one but it is not the lesson of this blog.  The lesson of this blog is that we can think whatever we want and what we think then takes over and controls us.  Vigilant guarding of our thought is our greatest ally because we can teach our clients the same thing.  Teaching you client will not cost you money either if you have secured your client for the proper reason.  Because the reason a coach is necessary is threefold.  That is 1) An outside objective opinion 2) An accountability partner and 3) New results that have never occurred before.  Teach you clients how to focus on the worthwhile things and they will thank you and give you even more things to help them with.  Helping your clients in this way will get you more clients and separate you from others as being uniquely you.  It will catapult you to the heights where you continue to be seen as an extraordinary coach.

Coaches Corner~LGBR

When you are committed to looking good and being right others can have lots of fun watching you do it.  You can do so at your own peril most of the time though.  In its simplest form, however, LGBR does us more harm than good as a way of approaching life and the truth of it is that others know how we look all the time even if they are not paying attention.  Frustrations result when we employ this coping mechanism and frustrations are ours and ours alone.  Whenever we get frustrated, it results from our own thinking and in no small way is fear in one of its forms.  You fear that you will not get what you want or that something you want to happen will not happen and since you cannot see the future, you never know what is going to happen.  Many of us create a result and then act as if it is the truth and react to it.  As a coach, we fall victim to this malady and our clients are dealing with it all the time.  We do not have that outside objective opinion when we need it most and that is when we get a stimulus that is close to us emotionally.  This can be the most surprising thing and sneak up on us when we are least expecting it.  It recently happened to me when I misplaced my glasses at my own home.

I was sure that my wife had moved them and placed them somewhere because that happens often enough with other things.  I go a few places around my house and my glasses were not there.  I knew for sure that I had not taken them with me the night before when we attended a party and clearly remember using them to read the itinerary for today’s activities.  I traced my steps and went to my office where I read the document.  I went to the bathroom where I read something else and I looked all the places that I can commonly be found.  The couch in my living room or den was searched 5 times.  I was careful to go slower each time because they could be anywhere and when something is not where it was it is supposed to be, then it could be anywhere, right?  After nearly 20 minutes of this, I was damned sure that it was my wife up to her old tricks again so I asked her where they were and had she seen them.  Over 20 years of marriage has softened me so I was not angry or had not particular take on it that led me to go into overwhelm, I just knew it was about her.  I then asked Holy Spirit to tell me where they were because that has worked in every instance.  Even though I am committed to LGBR just like everyone else, I had developed a confidence in Holy Ghost to help me that baffled the imagination.  My wife has said some things to me in the past that has been annoying and I have grown to understand that she knows not of what she speaks.  Like most husbands, I take what my wife says with a grain of salt.  As an extraordinary coach, I have grown accustomed to not making her wrong for doing that so I had no feelings of her being right or wrong or good or bad….it just was.  And meantime, I still could not find my glasses. 

She asked the typical questions like where had I seen them last and I took it in stride because in reality I could remember where I saw them last.  I saw them when I read the itinerary.  I have always thought of that question as a stupid one to ask because if a person remembers the last place he saw what he was looking for, it would not be lost!  So I got past that question pretty well and continued looking in places where I had already looked.  Since my wife was of no help, I was stuck going around in a circle.  But finally out of her mouth came the thing I was sure was the most useless.  She said to me….she said to me, “Have you looked in the garage?”  “Of course I did not look in the garage, I didn’t go out there.”  That is what I thought silently but being accustomed to doing what I am told most of the time, I reluctantly went outside and there they were.  My eyeglasses sat atop a rolled up sleeping bag just outside the door.  How they got there came back to me and I remembered taking them out there and once again gave all the credit to the Holy Ghost who used my wife to get the information to me because never in my lifetime would I have gone there because I knew they were not there.

Had I been afflicted with the Looking Good Being Right mentality, I would have been arguing with m wife about why she always says the dumbest things which I sure you have done.  The conversation would have escalated right after I asked her had she seen them and I would have reacted defensively when she suggested that they could be outside in the garage because I am not so stupid to not know that.  I would have revisited the many times she has been wrong about how things really are and superimposed that over the fact that I was the one who lost my glasses or at the very least misplaced them.  These kinds of things go on all the time in the lives of your clients and if they fall prey to them, the results can devastating.  I am not exaggerating when I say these small foxes that spoil the vine may even be responsible for some murders as the anger builds  and builds.  They can be responsible for divorces and stories upon stories create a reality that forces us to take drastic actions.  LGBR is destructive and as a coach, you must be present to it and be the outside, objective, opinion for your clients.  At the end of the day, doing so will get you much closer to being that extraordinary coach if you can manage it your own life.  No matter how good I look writing this blog or how right I am in sharing this information, know that I am not committed to LGBR, it just happens that way.

Coaches' Corner~Liked

For once in my life I have made a great decision.  As you know, I coach coaches to do a better job by systematizing their practice and learning more about their target market.  It is a good time to re-visit the three things that a coach brings to the table and they are an objective, outside opinion; an accountability partner and different results than achieved before.  And in that regard my coach excels and so will yours.  If you are a coach and you do not have a coach, get one right now today!

One of my maladies that has been brought to my attention is my desire to be liked.  This desire can get in the way of one’s effectiveness because the desire is so strong, that fear grips one if they are not liked.  If one is in fear, the client they are responsible for is the big loser for just like the president with a secret cannot effectively govern because he is worried that he will be found out, the coach in fear will not be effective because his motive is eliminating fear rather than helping his client.  This blog is about the growth I have achieved as a direct result of getting clear that much of my behavior in life resulted from my fear of being uncomfortable in a pathological way.

I attend a well-known church with a pastor who is known for his controlling style of governing and an ability to strike fear in the heart of whoever his volunteers is at the moment.  During the orientation to my new position as deacon, he said that customer satisfaction is key and that we ought to risk his ire in the hopes to satisfy the customer and if we got yelled at, then we got yelled at.  I received this admonishment with my usual cavalier-looking demeanor but I must say I was shaking in my boots.  I love taking care of the customer because that makes them like me and say nice things about me and keep me out of fear.  But I only like it is long as it is not uncomfortable.  That was before tonight.

It was my second time serving communion and the routine had not yet become second nature to me.  But things were working out quite fine which was different from the first time.  I felt empowered and was glad to meet the needs of the congregation as well as the pastor without difficulty.  I was standing in line after marching in with all the other deacons like we were soldiers of some kind all in order of our height.  I was singing away after passing out the juice and crackers to the folks in attendance.  For the benefit of those not familiar with the ritual, communion is symbolizing our identification with Christ and the idea is the juice signifies his shed blood for our redemption and the crackers symbolized the bread Jesus broke during the Last Supper.  Jesus knew he was going to die and was bonding with his disciples and uttered these words, “As often as you do this, think of me when you do it.”  So this was a very, very solemn moment.  As part of the ritual, the pastor asks for people who wanted to take communion but did not receive it to raise their hand.  All of those who wanted to receive it were served and we were singing away with the rest of the church.  The trainer that night had done a great job of equipping me for what needed to be done and all was well.  That was when it happened. 

Now I had always given the impression that I knew what I was doing no matter what I was doing or where I was doing it.  I was always the guy in a department store that people walked up to and asked for help.  If I was in the state capital, I was always mistaken for a senator and if I was in a hospital, they always addressed me as Dr. So and So.  The deacon to my right gets a pass in this case because he tapped me on the shoulder during this solemn moment to tell me that someone needed some juice who wanted to take communion but didn’t have any.  I hesitated because I didn’t want to get yelled at.  Everyone was in the mood so to speak and why was I just being told this right now?  Quickly I revisited the orientation moment when the pastor said to err on the side of the customer and this was a customer needing help.  I could have ignored the customer and the deacon who told me about the problem or I could tell the deacon to my left and see what he would do.  I had said to more than one person that fear of the pastor is not sufficient to leave a customer wanting and now I was gripped with fear.  I would have to travel the entire twelve feet toward the pastor in front of the whole church to tell him that someone had messed up?  I could have been yelled at or worse been embarrassed by the pastor or even broken the mood of the moment.  I weighed all that against the person not receiving communion and reasoned that I had to do something…and do it quickly.  I left the line of men and moved toward one of the pastor’s assistants and delivered the message that someone needed help.  Much to my surprise, the assistant told the pastor and the congregant was taken care of.  I was ecstatic that I had made the right decision and avoided getting yelled at too.  The assistant looked as if she was relieved also and a crisis was averted.

Without the growth experienced by having sessions with my coach who resonates with me, I am sure that could have been a fiasco.  I cannot wait to tell him this story.  Telling me that I depended too much on being liked was probably hard for my coach but had he not told me that I could have simply froze and damned the congregant to hell or worse.  Your clients have similar situations and many of them want to be liked but they are not present to the destructive nature of allowing the desire to be liked to decrease their efficiency.  Maybe you are a coach who wants to be liked as well and are not doing your best work.  We all want to be liked but we must balance that with meeting the needs of the people we are tasked to serve.  Getting over ourselves and our desire to be liked is a critical part of growth that leads us to becoming extraordinary.

Coaches' Corner~Hobbies

When you discover that there is a method to some kind of madness, it is a bit like getting money.  It can also be likened to getting a breath of fresh air.  If you are new to coaching or even if you have coached for a while, you pick up a book like How To Build A Million Dollar Practice and you learn that there is a way to make coaching profitable.  Learning new things can certainly help with our chosen vocation but learning in itself does not produce increase in our bottom line.  When we learn something, one of the natural outcomes is that we want to put it into practice.  Do you remember the erector sets from the early 60’s?  It was a toy that helped you build something like a bridge or an elaborate box after some difficulty with the screws and metal parts.  Figuring out how a certain technology works can also be fun.  Embarking on the coaching track has as its outcome a phenomenal income for those who are able to balance their skill of coaching with running a business.  But the fact is that many coaches end up coaching as a hobby rather than a profession.

When we want to be a coach and we have capital to invest, we may opt for one of the certification programs that are available.  They are heavy on academics and things for one to remember but the true nature of coaching involves some type of methodology which is absent in many of those programs.  The methodology of being a coach is predictable and is the foundation of being an extraordinary coach.  You absolutely cannot be an extraordinary coach unless you make great income being a coach.  Perhaps it does not happen right away but embracing the particular methodology is critical if you ever are going to succeed.  I was working with a potential client recently who told me of the headaches associated with coaching some close friends or family members and I sympathized with her because going to the trouble to think through an individual’s dilemma, thinking about it and maybe even doing some research, and giving them a solution to their problem seems futile when the person acts as if you said and did nothing.  Coaching methodology can eliminate some of that because there is a way to engage clients that all but guarantee they will heed your advice.  And advice is not the ticket anyway but it is more than likely that leading them to their solution would be a better situation.

Coaching as a hobby feels great when it works as most hobbies do.  But after a time even a hobby can be tiring once you decide you want to do it for money.  Many hobbies turn into careers for some but it is never like falling off of a log.  There comes a time when you take the leap and decide it is not a hobby anymore and when that time comes, you had better have a methodology in mind.   If you have a job, that is a 9 to 5, and you want to transition into coaching, then plan on it being a hobby for a time and use it to get a history with people you know but do it with a specific result in mind.  Make sure that you have resources to sustain you because hobbies do not pay you, you pay for them.  Be honest enough with yourself to admit when it is a hobby for you because only you know the truth.  The people benefiting from your coaching don’t care if it is only a hobby and the people who are not benefiting are probably not even noticing that they are being coached.  At this point it is helpful to remind you of several things about coaching that make it a worthwhile career and a worthwhile hobby.  Coaches bring three things to the table and there is not student-teacher relationship in coaching.  They are 1)  An outside objective opinion, 2)  An accountability partner and 3)  New results that have not been present before.  When you take on coaching as a career, keep in mind that a person paying you to do those three things will find you extremely valuable as you deliver those things to them in spades.  And by the time, coaching is no longer a hobby but a beneficial career, you will have seemingly through osmosis, become an extraordinary coach.

If this has helped you, please pass it on to someone else and until the next time, have a good time.