Coaches Corner~Uncle Tom

With the rise of the numbers of black people who ascribe to the Republican way of thinking, has also come the criticism of being an Uncle Tom. I looked up Uncle Tom on the Internet, and it is defined as a black person who is overly subservient to white people in general. Being an Uncle Tom was a coping mechanism used in the old days to accomplish selfish purposes. In the old days when blacks were slaves and to be black was in itself a problem, the black people who did what they could in order to have a better experience in life were called Uncle Toms, and that included being subservient to white people. At the time, the overwhelming majority of white people were of a certain ilk, and society in general had no use for a black person. This, in my view, was a very terrible time in American history.
   
With the adoption of civil rights laws and the elimination of laws deferring to white people in cases involving blacks, that is all gone by the wayside now. The thing that's left now is the psychological position by many black people that there is a white power structure. The belief that black people as a group are monolithic and all think the same way is actually a detriment to the progress of society in general and many black people specifically. The difficulty now is that so many people are mired in the old way of thinking that a few of those people who are not marred in that way of thinking are being criticized by other black people.
   
In fact, in looking up the definition of Uncle Tom, I find that Uncle Tom is a criticism that's heaved on blacks by other blacks. Uncle Tom was used to describe black people who did things that was subservient to white people so they can have a better personal experience, and in a way it was simply a choice that they made to keep themselves alive. Black people, as an oppressed group at that time,  attributed certain characteristics to being black and everybody attributed the less than flattering characteristic to being black. Those days are gone.
   
In the old days, a black person having a disagreement with a white person was automatically wrong. A black person looking for a job competing with a white person automatically lost. A black person who was a policeman even was thought of as less than the criminal who was a white person. Those, once again, were terrible times in American history. As an extraordinary coach, it is critical that you are present to what affect this has on your clients. The principle that even overrides the idea of being an Uncle Tom is a principle that everyone suffers from and that is that we get up each and every morning of every single day finding ways to “look good and be right.”
   
Granted, the black person who is not called an Uncle Tom is also looking for a reason to look good and be right. When he runs across a black person, that doesn't see things the way that he see things. He then has to find some explanation. No one wants to be a critic and no one wants to be thought of as negative, but this is overridden by our desire to look good and be right. Hence, we criticize the black person that doesn't think like we do. It seems, in this piece, that I go back and forth between we and they, and that is logic because I happen to be a black person. I happen to be a black person who may be considered an Uncle Tom by some because I don't buy in to the narrative that overcomes the majority of black people, but it is not my job to be a critic.
   
I only seek to enlighten, and the reason that this is important is that in order for us as a society to grow, we must get away from these ways, I think, that we use to divide one another. Granted, the black community as it was years ago no longer exists, and I sometimes wonder who they're talking about when they talk about the black community. I am not alone in my assessment of this, and you may have clients that feel the same way that I do about this and if you don't feel the way that your client feels about this, one of two things will occur. You will not have this person as a client because you don't resonate with this person, or you will find yourself looking good and being right by trying to straighten this person out in their misguided direction.
   
It doesn't look like the racism that people complain about will ever go away, and if it doesn't look like that it will ever go away is largely because of peoples’ unwillingness to accept responsibility for the difficulties in their life. As an extraordinary coach, part of what you do is you have people accept responsibility for their life. You, as an extraordinary coach, have to accept responsibility for your life too and if you truly want to be an extraordinary coach, there's no place in your life or in your business for anyone considering themselves a victim.
   
If this racism, if these complaints of racism is to go away, it will be the job of the extraordinary coach to usher it out, and the extraordinary coach approaches this problem by asking just the right questions. Questions like what's working, what's not working, what's next and what's missing. Asking those questions will force people to dig deep within themselves to find out what is the true source of their discomfort, what is the true source of their lack of success. When someone examines themselves and look exactly at their motives, they will not come to the conclusion that it results from anything outside of them. All in all, situations result from how we see the world. Can you imagine deciding that there's something on this earth that you don't like and that you're going to leave the earth as a result of it? I'm sure that doesn't make sense.
   
I started out this blog talking about Uncle Tom, and the reason that I started about Uncle Tom is a good one. Uncle Tom no longer exists primarily because the white power structure no longer exists. There are people who can make a case for anything just like I'm making the case for this, and the people who make a case for the existence of the white power structure are simply black people who are trying to look good and be right in their assessment of why their life isn't working the way that they wanted to work.
   
Since there's no white power structure, there's no uncle Toms, and use of the epithet Uncle Tom is simply vitriol in disguise. People who use epithets and other forms of criticism are missing the point that when you criticize someone, no one goes "Oh, I see. I didn't know that I was being an Uncle Tom. Let me stop right now and do what you want." Because you see, that never happens. What you resist, persists and whenever you criticize someone either being an Uncle Tom or anything else that you can think of, the most likely thing that they're going to do is defend themselves. Those of you criticizing some black folks of being Uncle Tom, I encourage you to evaluate that and see how that has worked.
   
Now, if you simply want to spew vitriol, then you're going to be successful whenever you call somebody an Uncle Tom, but if you truly want to improve your world, improve our world and help society move in a positive direction, you will face the fact that your assessment of somebody being an Uncle Tom is simply anger and vitriol heaved upon them by you, so I hope that one of you who's reading this blog is enlightened to a degree. Because like me, I'm sure you are looking for love when you're looking to give love and receive love, and you don't get love in any way by criticizing people, especially calling somebody an Uncle Tom. Uncle Tom, like the N-word has no place in civilized society. When someone behaves in a manner unlike the way that you would behave, let's find a different way to describe it and let's find a different way to assess it, and criticism is not the way.
   
Now, if this blog has helped you, please by all means share with someone, and I end this blog like I love to end all of my blogs which is for you to have a good time until the next time.